Is It Really Worth It?

     Is it really worth it? I mean, really? In today’s society where being offended is more important than keeping safe, where madness and chaos rule and sanity and calm are persecuted, where caring about another is looked down upon and hedonism is cherished, is it really, really worth it? Is love just something to be taken advantage of because it shows weakness?

     Ok, we have the liberals that are doing everything they can to destroy the Constitution, except the parts that they want for themselves (conservatives aren’t allowed any rights). They want to do away with freedom of religion (at least the right to practice Christianity), free speech (as long as it comes from conservatives), the right to keep and bear arms (except for law enforcement and their army of security people), protection from illegal search and seizure (except when it comes to their illegal activity which is totally within their rights to do, such as Hillary’s email server). Do you see where this is going?

     The problem is this; the conservatives aren’t doing a damn thing about what the liberals are doing. The Republicans in Congress sit back and cower, kowtowing to the liberal rants and giving them ground instead of standing up and fighting for our rights. Thank the gods of Asgard that Patton, McArthur, Washington, etc., all the great generals in each war we’ve been in since the American Revolution, wasn’t so fucking weak. We would have lost to the British, twice; we would have lost to the Mexicans, the Germans, the Viet Cong (oh, sorry, we DID lose to the Viet Cong). We are losing to the liberal left.

     We are sitting here, spending millions upon millions of taxpayer dollars on bogus investigations against Trump when the Clinton’s and Obama were given passes on all their crimes that COULD be proven. It is only allegations, rumor, mainstream media bias and a lot of ‘anonymous sources’ that are against Trump and Company. Yet, the Republicans are doing just what the liberals want – going along with their game against America.

     Is it really worth it? When actual crimes can be overlooked because they are committed by the liberals and rumored crimes are investigated beyond belief against a conservative it is beyond stupid. It is anti-American politics. It isn’t worth it anymore.

Facebook posts being deleted when they are anti-Muslim (actually anti-ISIS). Is it wrong to put out there what the fucking bastards are doing? Is it wrong to state facts that not all Muslims are terrorists but most terrorists are Muslim? Is it wrong to be wary of ‘refugees’ from ISIS controlled countries?

     I am not politically correct in any way, shape or form. I call a spade a spade and a terrorist a terrorist. I’m not racist or anti-gay. That being said, if you can’t handle the heat, get out of the kitchen. If words hurt you so bad go live in a bloody monastery. I will not, under ANY circumstances give up my right to free speech because of your feelings. No one bothered about my feelings when I was growing up and I learned to live with it all. If you don’t get your precious little feelings hurt then you don’t grow and learn other’s viewpoints. All you do, if you won’t let anyone hurt your feelings, is live in a bubble and don’t get a thick enough skin to survive this journey we call life.

     Is it really worth it? Stupidity and idiocy run amok while common sense and intelligence is ridiculed and persecuted. All you have to do is turn on CNN, MSNBC, Fox; read the New York Times, Washington Post, Oregonian or even the Des Moines Register; watch NBC, CBS or ABC.       Here in the United States it is getting worse and worse with the open arms policy of protecting criminal illegal aliens but in Europe it is so much more dangerous with their government’s open arms policies. The peace-loving citizens of the world are allowing the terror inducing RADICAL ISLAMIC TERRORISTS to just take over. They have said for decades that the world would become Islamic. They were right and every other religion, ideology, form of government, etc., are ALLOWING IT AND EVEN INVITING IT.

     Is it really worth it? As an over the road driver I see a LOT of stupid. Never underestimate the stupidity of people behind the wheel of a vehicle. Construction zones where it bottlenecks into one lane is a prime example: people will run up the lane that is ending at full throttle until the lane ends then stops all traffic just to get into the open lane. Three miles back there was a sign that informed traffic what was happening; doesn’t matter: gotta get in front of everyone else. There are also those idiots that just have to get in front of that truck, no matter what traffic laws they break to do it, just to slow that truck down. Where did these people learn to drive???? Stupid, stupid, stupid…. Idiotic, idiotic, idiotic. All because of some undeserved sense of self-worth that makes some think they are more important than everyone else.

     Is it all worth it? We elect politicians to represent us in government. That is the way the Founding Fathers set up this experimental government. Over the years these politicians have learned that they are above any laws they pass. All they have to do is state in said law that Congress is exempt. REALLY? Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Our elected officials have become absolutely corrupted. Once again, listen to the ‘news’ on the radio or television or read the ‘news’papers. When we get someone in office that is NOT a politician, the politicos do everything they can to destroy that person because he is NOT corrupted by politics. He may be corrupted by wealth and business but not politics.

     Is it all worth it? I have been called racist, fascist, bigoted, homophobic, islamaphobic, and a host of other things that really don’t describe me. I AM racist; I’ve gotten to hate the HUMAN RACE. As for hating any nationality, religion, color, creed, etc., nah. I love my black boys that call me dad. I love my Russian/Ukrainian boys that call me dad; I have friends that are Mexican, Puerto Rican, Guatemalan, Korean, English, Welsh, Malaysian, Australian, etc. I have known Palestinians, Catholics, Jews, Pentecostals, Presbyterians, Methodists, Hindus, atheists, Pagans, heathens, etc. Yep! I’m a racist.

     Fascist? According to the Oxford American dictionary, the definition of fascism is: 1) a right-wing system of government with extreme nationalistic beliefs. 2) an attitude that is very intolerant or right-wing. Well, I guess they have the ‘right-wing’ and ‘nationalistic’ parts of it right. I have noticed, though, that it is the left that has become very intolerant. I, myself, have been very tolerant of the liberal rants against the Trump Train, albeit with my own comments following said rants.

     I am not even going to go any further with explaining myself or my beliefs. It doesn’t really matter to anyone anyway. Suffice it to say that I am NOT what the left thinks I am.

     So, I ask: Is it all worth it? Is this journey through life worth all the bullshit that the human race piles upon each other? Is it worth the lies, deceit, corruption, greed, etc.? Is it worth all the protests against free speech, owning weapons? Is it worth it to fight against open borders, extreme tax and spend, taking from those that earn and giving to those that refuse to work? There are times that I definitely feel like putting the bottle to my head and pulling the trigger. Is it really worth it?

     There are a few things that I have in my life that make all the bullshit worth every minute: my children (Jennifer, Andrew, Jaquie, Michael), my grandkids (Destiny, Ryan, Oktober, Nova), my ‘adopted’ kids (Travon, Malcolm, Max, Misha, Julian, Josh), even my ‘adopted’ grandkids (Alex, Danny, the Bentley’s, Tucker, Lorelei, and a few others that I claim that belong to friends). I even happen to have a few friends that make it all worth it (actually too many to list, amazingly enough).        Things don’t make life worth living, things make life easier. Family, friends, loved ones are what make life worth living. Even though friends may come and go and family my disown you, it is the camaraderie, the love, the sharing of special moments with those people that make even the shortest time seem like a lifetime. Each person comes into your life for a short time and for a special reason only to leave when their time with you is up. Still, that is what makes it all worth it.

     So, is it really worth it? In a word: yes.

Relationships Today: Just a Little Advice

I think I’m going to do something a little different this weekend. Instead of something really controversial like politics or religion I’m going to delve into the realm of relationships. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, who am I to give out advice on something that I can’t even keep together? In answer to that question I will reply that I am very experienced in what NOT to do. After being married three times, three times divorced, having children with all three, I would like to think that I have a pretty good idea of what is going on. I may be wrong on that but I’m going to go with it anyway.

I got married the first time when I was twenty and she was eighteen. She wanted away from home and I wanted someone there. Trust me when I say that when a relationship is built like that it will never work out. Two years later, after she and I were separated, along came a beautiful baby girl. Was I ready to be a parent in any way, shape or form? Not on your life. Thank the gods that my ex-wife was a hell of a lot more mature than I was. My daughter grew to be a fantastic woman with children of her own that have grown into pretty great young people. When my daughter was around three I surrendered parental rights and let her step-dad adopt her. I thought I was doing the right thing.

Relationship number two, that ended in marriage and divorce, came along a few years later when I was 27. I met this girl while I was servicing a truck where I worked. I was covered in grease and oil and this cute little thing came wandering into the shop and started complaining about being stood up by some sop that had made a movie date with her. As it ended up my buddy and I got cleaned up and we both took her to the drive in movie. It was a triple feature that I have no idea what was playing. We talked through the whole damn thing. My buddy? He sat along the wall of the drive in bored out of his mind.

This girl had a three year old boy that was adorable. He came to me one day and asked if I minded if he called me ‘Dad.’ My heart melted. After we got married I adopted him. He was a great kid and I love him as much as if he was my own blood. But, once again, the fates decided that this wasn’t the one, either. We fought constantly about everything. I was a jealous SOB and she was an eighth Crow Indian and had an evil streak that made her want to stir me up.

I was working for Schwan’s at the time and came home one night to a note on the pillow. Yeah! Can you believe that old cliché? I wasn’t sober for about three or four months. I quit working for Schwan’s and went back to real trucking.

Number three was a few months later. I picked her up in a truck stop where she was hitch hiking. It was in Columbia, MO and she was trying to get to Minneapolis. You just don’t get from the middle of Missouri to southern Minnesota very easily. I gave her ride from there to Indiana and then back to Des Moines and put her on a truck headed to Minneapolis. A couple of months later she was back and in the truck with me.

To make this story shorter, in the ten years we were together we moved from Des Moines to Portland, my beautiful baby daughter was born four months after her mother turned eighteen and my son was born two and half years later. My boy was born in New York while I was still in Portland, OR. Yeah, I’m a dick and she thought I wasn’t paying enough attention to her so she took my daughter across the country for a year. She came back to Portland and then we moved around the country while I was trucking again. We ended up in Fremont, NE where it finally came to an end.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Every time I got married it was forever but, there is that little problem of me being a dick. When I got together with the last one I told her that I didn’t own her and she didn’t own me; as long as my children were taken care of she did what she wanted and I was not going to change my lifestyle of trucking. I didn’t cheat on her. I am NOT that kind of driver. I am loyal to a fault and once committed that is all she wrote. No.3 and I never fought until that last night when she walked out on me and the kids.

Throughout all three of these relationships there is one common denominator: my attitude that I was not owned by anyone and I was going to do what I wanted regardless. Don’t get me wrong, I did my best to take care of my family and my children are my world. That was probably the biggest thing, I paid more attention to my kids than the other half. Not the best way to keep a relationship together.

In any relationship it has to be a two way street. It cannot just go one way. Give and take and if you give a little more than you take then it will, more than likely, stay together; if there is any chance that one is taking more than the other it will end in disaster. Communication is just as important. If you can’t talk things through, you get angry and go to bed that way, you will end up as bitter enemies. You have to be able to compromise in all things. And, this one is very important, if you try to change someone that you are with, you’ve lost. You didn’t fall in love with what you want to change them into. You fell in love with what they are.

In today’s world I’ve watched these kids from 14 to 20 do their utmost to get into a serious relationship and have kids. Stupidest thing they could do. These kids are just as immature as we were back in the 70’s but they think they are much more grown up. I throw down the BS card on that. These girls today think they can be moms at 14, 16, 18 years old. They can’t. And these boys won’t be ready to be dads until they reach about 30.

I’ve seen girls destroy boy’s lives because they didn’t get what they wanted, which was to have a baby, and then if they do get what they want, they destroy that poor boy’s life and her own. Well, maybe not destroy but definitely make it exponentially harder. Life is NOT easier with a baby on your hip. When I was young and you had a child, that child was yours to take care of. Today, I constantly see posts on Facebook or hear girls cry because they need time off from their children. These girls seem to think that having a living child is like taking care of that stupid doll they have in high school independent living class. It isn’t.

Who is to blame for this social problem? I blame us. By ‘us’ I mean the parents of these children that think they are grown up at 14. We have become so complacent and relaxed in parenting that these kids are basically raising themselves. That doesn’t bring about morally adept children. They start sleeping with the opposite sex at 14 just to have someone to sleep next to. Next thing you know they’re doing the dirty with whoever it is next to them without protection and then, BAM, they’re pregnant and think they’re gonna get a Sony TV. Oh, sorry. That baby that is growing in there suddenly becomes one of two things: an income from a poor, unemployed teenaged boy and the government or, it’s an inconvenience and needs to be aborted.

My best advice to anyone from 14 to 25 – stay single, enjoy life, get set financially then start thinking about getting into a serious relationship. The world isn’t going to end if you don’t get serious with someone before you’re 30. Kids are wonderful gifts that require a LOT of work and a lot of money. Stay children for as long as you can. Being grown up is not as great as what it’s advertised to be. Life is hard enough by yourself and it isn’t any easier when you have others that you are responsible for. Relationships don’t last. I’ve known people that were married for decades that broke apart. Children aren’t mature enough to even know what love is much less what commitment and loyalty are. Most girls are out to get into a boy’s wallet and get a baby for an income. Boys are out to get their wedding tackle wet, period.

Those last two statements are generalities; there are those rare boys and girls that are actually loyal and true. If you can find one, keep them. The biggest problem is that those with good hearts, the loyal, are taken advantage of more often than not by those that are so immature that they can’t see beyond their own noses. Hedonism runs rampant in today’s world and that is the saddest thing that could ever happen. Dorian Grey is king; the only problem there is that these modern Dorian’s aren’t immortal.

Life is Like a Bowl of Cherries Just like Erma Said

Life is like a bowl of cherries. Erma Bombeck titled one of her books by that name. I have never read it, at least in its entirety. In fact, I really can’t recall one story in that book as it was many, many years ago that I actually read parts of it but, I know, that Erma Bombeck was a very intelligent author. She wrote her humorous stories around actual events in her life and experiences in a way that was entertaining, humorous and, if read in the right frame of mind, educational.

Why did I choose this as the main topic of this article? I chose ‘life is like a bowl of cherries’ because, through the past week, I have lived that bowl of cherries. Along with that wondrous juicy red fruit that is so delicious, there are always those damnable pits.

I have a friend that has told me for years that I am the only person he knows that can think himself into a bad mood. With my choice of career I have plenty of time to think about things. Amazingly enough, this past week there have been many, many things to think about from the Senate’s agonizing debates about Judge Neil Gorsuch to the bombing of a Syrian airstrip along with enough every day, non-political, work related subjects to choke the life out of anything.

The point I want to make, here at the start of this article is this: Life is actually pretty good for most people here in the good ol’ USA. Most, but not all; I have it decent. I have a pretty good paying job that I really enjoy, a roof over my head and food in the fridge. My bills are paid and nothing is getting shut off so why would I say anything about the ‘pits?’ Without the dark, we wouldn’t know anything about the light. For example, today started pretty good as I got to my receiver at a good time with only a few trucks ahead of me; I waited only a short time before being put into a dock door and it seemed I would get home early. That is as far as the good went. I waited over seven hours to get unloaded and almost an hour after that to get my paperwork. After leaving the receiver I was driving along at the speed limit, got behind a slow pickup truck, moved over to the fast lane to go around and the damn pickup truck decided to match my speed thus making me back traffic up behind me.

No big deal you would think, just slow down, get back behind him and travel on. Let me let you in on a little secret there: personal vehicle drivers do not like trucks. On any given day I will get slowed down by people that speed up when I try to get around them only to slow back down when I can’t and get behind them again numerous times. As a professional driver in a vehicle governed at 64 miles an hour I am at the mercy of a lot of things. I’ve been cut off by people that had to get in front of me, just to slow down or make that exit ramp that I just passed. I’ve had people pull out in front of me with less than a truck length between us. It gets more than a little annoying.

Today, being aggravated by the slow unload, this driver just pissed me off. As traffic is backing up behind me and this idiot not letting me by I blew my horn at him. Now, he could have sped up or slowed down, either way, no big deal; what did he do? He hit the brakes, looked up at me through the window and pulled off the highway. I’m expecting a call from the company about this as I am sure he took down the company name and trailer number because I was being an ass. I could have done more, like start to pull over into his lane to get him to move the hell out of my way for one thing.

As you see, with the day starting as that sweet, juicy, delicious fruit of me going home, getting to the receiver and getting into a door early, there came the pit of taking most of the day to get unloaded and then an idiot driver. Life was definitely a bowl of cherries today.

Another great author that I have come to admire is Sherrilyn Kenyon. For those that have been living under a rock or don’t read anything but Forbes and the Wall Street Journal, Ms. Kenyon writes fantasy/adventure/romance novels (the only reason they are romance is that she does put some pretty graphic sex scenes in there and the main character ALWAYS gets what they want). Maybe you have heard of her Dark Hunter, Dream Hunter, League or Chronicles of Nick books that are international best sellers. My personal favorites are the Chronicles of Nick, the adventures of a teenaged Cajun from New Orleans that has an attitude.

Why do I put her up there with such a writer as Erma Bombeck? Sherrilyn Kenyon was an abused child and she persevered and won the day. She survived and thrived through things that would permanently scar most people. She puts the wisdom of those years and her survival into her writing. Her characters, for the most part, are hundreds, if not thousands, of years old (the oldest that I recall is an Atlantean god that is slightly over eleven thousand years old. When a character has lived as many lifetimes as hers have, they gain a lot of life wisdom.

Ms. Kenyon’s characters have been betrayed by loved ones, been tortured by enemies, lived through hell and, in the end, won the day by perseverance and sheer determination not to let life run them over. Some, the Dark Hunters, have even by murdered in some of the most heinous ways only to be brought back by the Greek goddess Artemis as warriors against evil. Even then, these people have stories to tell and wisdom to share.

The point I am getting at is this: there are a lot of times that the gods make humans their punching bags and don’t give a rat’s ass what happens to us. It is up to us, the human race, to decide whether we will let life kill us or we go over, under, around or through the hardships and keep fighting. There is always something to keep fighting for: a loved one, an important cause, honor.

With all that is going on in the world today, especially since the election in November, there have been a lot of times when people have asked me how my day is, I’ve replied, ‘If it got any better I may as well take off my own head.” After years of fighting depression, it’s getting kind of hard to keep fighting the good fight for me but I do. I fight on because I have things worth fighting for, even if some of those things don’t care about me. As Dom Torreto said in Fast & Furious, “Never give up on family, even if they do.” I happen to have a lot of family, most of which are not blood.

To sum it all up, it doesn’t matter if you are liberal or conservative, Democrat or Republican, wealthy or poor, mentally balanced or have mental illness, physically healthy or ill, there is always something or someone that needs you, would miss you, would die without you. It doesn’t matter who is in the White House, Congress, Supreme Court, who controls what country, who has done this or that, we all have our roles to play. What we do today, what we say tomorrow, what has happened in the past or will happen in the future, does not matter one iota to the Universe. It will all fade into nothingness through the mists of time. What will remain is whether we kept going, kept fighting for life or whether we gave in and ended it all without a fight.

Over, under, around or through, there is always a way. The gods are childish, narcissistic asses that look at the human race as entertainment. We only get what we earn by working for it and there will be no one there to help us. Friends come and go. We can’t take anything with us and no one gets out of life alive. It is our decisions whether our lives are a beach or a bitch. If you want some good life lessons, some good outlooks on life, read some Erma Bombeck and Sherrilyn Kenyon. There are other great authors out there that, through telling their stories, have wisdom to give but these two are my favorites. Give it try, read instead of staring at your phone or computer screen or game console. Chronicles of Nick, Life is Like a Bowl of Cherries, House of Darke (by Colin R Parsons), Wizard’s Quest (by yours truly) are a few titles for life lessons through stories. Fahrenheit 451, Animal Farm, Dangerous Minds, Divergent, a few other titles for what life could be, even the Harry Potter and Percy Jackson series’ can be more than entertainment if you really sit down and read them.

Don’t let politics, religion, nationality, or ideology cloud your mind. Life IS a bowl of cherries; all you have to do is spit the pits out and keep eating the sweet stuff….  

Friends v Enemies

There is an old adage that says, “Keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer.” In today’s world, do you really know who your friends really are? It is becoming increasingly more difficult to discern between friend and enemy.

A person used to know, beyond doubt, who would stand up for him or her and who would stab them in the back. Today, your most trusted ally may well be the one to place the knife between your ribs. Loyalty, commitment and friendship are all on a temporary scale. To find a true friend, one that would never betray you no matter what, is hard to find. As long as a person can use you, needs what you can do for them, you are their friend. As soon as that need is gone, when they no longer can use you, they turn on you and leave you in the dark.

That woman, or man, that means so much to you, that you love more than life, has no more respect or loyalty to you than they did for the person before you. Once again, to find someone that is permanent is rare. Divorce rates skyrocket while long-term relationships plummet. Women want a baby daddy; someone that will give them an income for the long term. As soon as she gets what she wants, she is done with you and on to the next man; all the while you are paying for her lifestyle.

That boy that tells you he loves you more than life is only playing a part just to get into you. If you become pregnant, you are history and that poor baby is forgotten about by his/her sperm donor. It isn’t about love anymore. It is all about lust and numbers. The more women he can get between the sheets the better man he is.

As friends, two people can be inseparable for a time, sharing everything from dreams to fears. All it takes is one disagreement and the friendship is gone. “If I show you the darkness within me, will you still think of me the same?” Most will not. If you show your darkness, your demons, most will turn and run away. Why? They run because they don’t want to have to deal with any kind of drama or conflict. Most people today are so hedonistic that they cannot see beyond their own noses. Only their wants and needs and desires matter. If you don’t cater to them, they leave.

You can give until there is nothing left to give to some people and when it’s gone, so are they. It is your fault that they have so little. It is your responsibility to supply them with what they want. A gentle, giving heart must set limits because the takers never will. They will take until nothing remains then they will move on to someone else that can give to them. It is a never ending cycle.

When you do find that one person that will have your back, no matter what, keep hold of them. If someone is willing to be there through thick and thin, through the demons coming out, for better or worse, that person is a jewel to be held onto, cherished. If you betray that person you are doing them, and yourself, a grave injustice. How so? By betraying them you have lost a treasure most will never find and you will have maybe damaged a kind soul to where they never will trust again.

Life is hard. Life is not fair. It has become a dog eat dog world and that, my friends, is the beginning of the end. When everyone must watch their backs to keep from having a blade stuck through it, then true commitments and loyalty will never be able to exist. Only alliances founded on mutual survival will remain. “My enemy’s enemy is my friend.” Like an alliance between Russia and the United States, it becomes nothing more than enemies bound by a common goal. Once the goal is reached, or is found to be unreachable, that alliance is gone and they are still enemies.

Once a person realizes that they are nothing more than the god’s whipping boy, all hope leaves and despair is all that remains. For those that always look for the good in everyone, it will be a hard life of betrayal after betrayal. There is good in each and every person on this planet. It is whether each one wants to let that good out or keeps it buried deep inside so as not to be taken for granted. Instead of ‘do unto other as you would have done unto you,’ it has become ‘do unto other before they do unto you.’ That is why the good is buried in so many.

Greed, lust, gluttony, vanity, envy, sloth and wrath, the seven deadly sins rule this world. Hedonism is king. Chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility, the seven virtues are a thing of the past or are to be taken advantage of. The two have to coexist to keep a balance on good and evil. Today, the balance is tipped in favor of the sins whereas, in the past, the virtues were more important. What has caused this change in the balance of power?

In days gone by, religion and morality were more important than personal feelings. It was taboo to have sex before you were married and even more so to have a baby out of wedlock. Charity started at home because taking care of your own meant your survival. Respect for your elders and those in authority kept you from becoming an outcast in society. Conservatism was necessary to stay alive and prosper.

Today, it is vogue to have babies before marriage, even encouraged. Sex is encouraged at a young age as sex education and contraceptives are handed out to preteens in school. Our children are taught to think only of themselves when it comes to feelings and desires. They are also taught that to be righteous and moral they must give to those less fortunate no matter whom that may be. Liberalism is the only right way to think.

The difference between liberalism and conservatism is this: liberalism today is communism at worst and socialism at best. Why do I say that? ‘From each according to his ability to each according to his wants and needs’ is what liberalism wants. Wealth redistribution in the form of taxing the rich more and giving that money to the less fortunate, whether they work for it or not.

Conservatism today is a capitalist society. ‘You don’t work, you don’t eat.’ If you put in an honest day’s work, you get paid an honest day’s wage. You are responsible for your own actions and welfare. If you need assistance, it will be given but if you are able, but refuse, to be a productive member of society, you deserve no help.

Why did I put those two paragraphs in at this point? Because it gives the difference between how things were and how they are. When conservatism was reigning, friends were friends, loyalty and commitment meant something and morality was important. Today, liberalism reigns and people are against each other and only think of themselves.

We no longer have to struggle to actually survive. We struggle to survive our wants but not our needs. Yes, there are homeless and hungry people, even here in one of the wealthiest nations on Earth but, for the most part, people are taken care of. It’s not like we have to go out and hunt our food and make clothes out of the hides of what we kill. If we need food, there are welfare or food banks. If we need shelter there is welfare and missions. Society is called upon to supply to those in need. Our struggles are to support our wants, our greed, and our gluttony. Because we no longer have to struggle, our battles are now against each other. We take from those that are willing to give because we want what they have. We ingratiate ourselves to the kind, gentle, giving souls just to stab them in back once we are done with them.

If society continues in this fashion how long do you think that humanity will survive? Soon, very soon, we will once again become a feudal society and kill each other off as the ancient Celts, Normans, and Vikings did to those weaker than them. World population will decline to a few of the strongest. Those with money will have the protection of the castle while the weak will only have their hovels to hide in. Once the battles begin there will be no stopping them. Where will those takers and hedonists go then? Of course, to those that are kind and giving, if there are any of those left.

Hopefully, one day in the near future, conservatism, morality, loyalty and commitment will make a reappearance and become the norm replacing the hedonistic society that believes in the seven sins instead of the seven virtues. Hopefully.

The Monster and the Saint

By Jay D Evans

      In long forgotten days, many eons past, I was a king. I ruled over many millions of subservient subjects that would live and die by my words. With the wave of a hand a man could lose his life or gain land and title. I was a god, worshiped and praised. Without thought or concern I would rule my people. Justice was meted out swiftly and without mercy. I was a tyrant.

     In those years of my rule, two millennia long, my governance went from one small kingdom, lesser in size than most modern day cities, to an Empire that made Rome seem small. It’s been said that at one time the sun never set on the British Empire. This is true in that Britain held lands scattered across the globe, but there was no continuity. My Empire was almost the entire continent. This was a time before time when the world was only one large continent and one ocean.

     I was not alone in my rule. As I conquered I found one that could be, was, my equal. I conquered his kingdom yet he stood before me with pride instead of fear. As he raised his sword to strike me, I looked up at him on his dais and laughed. Not to humiliate him but in mirth. The unmitigated gall of this man to stand up to me, a god, was immeasurable in honor and courage. Instead of striking him dead, I offered a partnership. We would rule together. He with his wisdom and courage, me with my might and savagery. Strength to weakness, weakness to strength. I was chaos and terror, he was order and justice.

     My armies lived to follow my every command. Either that or they died by my hand and my hand alone. Fear, respect, loyalty. All were demanded of every soldier from the lowest footman to the highest ranking general. No matter what the order it was to be carried out immediately; whether to conquer another, weaker, kingdom or to execute his wife, a soldier followed his orders without question and with hast. To tarry would mean death to him, his family and most likely his entire village. I was a monster

     A tyrant and a monster was I before Salai and his fairness. His temperament softened my ferocity. In matters of court, decisions were made on hard evidence, not just hear-say or the word of the accuser. If, in our eyes, the accused was acquitted of the charges against him, his accuser was sentenced for the crime. In this way there were no false accusations against innocent people. Land and title were given to the most loyal and deserving, whether from royal blood or commoner. Extortion, bribery, treason, theft and murder were dealt with instantly and mercilessly at the end of a sword. It was by my hand that thousands were executed before violence ended and peace came to that barbarous land.

     As we rode among our people they would bow down before us. Our people adored us as much the monster as I was. Salai had softened the edges and placated the people. None were hungry nor were they living in poverty. Even the women and children could walk at night without fear of being accosted by another. Our people were protected better than any other ruler had ever protected them. The only thing they had to fear was me.

     As our reign came to an end after two millennia, our Empire began to crumble. With my advanced age I was weak. I could not travel as I had as a younger man so others thought to occupy our far-off land. Salai, also, was far weaker than he had been. We secluded ourselves in our fortress venturing out only when desperately needed.

     First to be overthrown was the far south. Furthest from our home it was least protected to this kind of action. As a younger man I would have sailed the seas or rode across the land and crushed anyone that attempted to take my lands but, as time had been a predator and finally had clutched my life in its’ massive jaws, I could not make the journey and our people cried with anguish as they were overthrown. Rape, murder, arson and theft of property was the life this former peaceful land would now endure until a different time when more peaceful rulers would come and conquer the savages.

     Next was the far north. The people of this land separated into several different tribes to protect themselves from the conquering forces. Faring better than their southern neighbors, they fought the good fight and continued on as guerrilla warriors against those that would unjustly rule them. Hunger and poverty, fear and anger were what was left as this land fell from our Empire.

     It took another millennia for our Empire to completely crumble into what it started as; a small kingdom settled into a valley in the far west, protected by high bluffs and the ocean. Our armies, nothing more than an assembly of militia with broken swords and no armor, would be massacred if attacked. Our palace was no more than a shack among the other broken down dwellings of those closest to us. With no defenses, no weapons and weakened beyond caring we lay in our bed, shadows of the gods of the glory days. The Fates had caught up with the gods and laughed as we lay there, debilitated, unable to even reach for the chamber pot to relieve ourselves.

     After two thousand years of glory and godhood we were alone, save for the ghosts that haunted our memories and tortured our souls. Small and afraid, we begged for death to take us. Lying there, cold and filthy, we begged Death and he laughed. It was not to be that easy. Another half millennia passed before there was nothing left of our kingdom except our humble shack. Ruins all around, uncovered windows allowing the cold and the rain to enter, no door to keep the wolves at bay made our pitiful ending even more pitiful. It was then that Death decided to come and take us. As he carried us across the dark divide he laughed and recounted all my failures and vices. He told me of my crimes against my people and those that I conquered. I had paid the price of being the tyrant and the monster and now it was time for my eternal rest. Hel welcomed me home into her realm of the dead and I accepted my fate.

     Hel told me once again of all my transgressions but she added in all the good that Death had left out. The best, and worst, thing that I had done was entice Salai into ruling with me. He was my greatest strength and my greatest weakness. Hel understood that he had been the other half of a divided whole. It was not until I had bargained with him to rule with me that I had become a whole ruler, a whole man. Salai, also, had been only a half. He was too kind with his subjects; I, too strict. Together we became great leaders, well rounded and well loved.

     Because the ruler of the Underworld could see that we needed each other, that together we comprised a whole but apart we were but shades, she blessed, and cursed, us both. She cursed us to an eternity of life and death. Until we could love each other as we had in our lifetime as kings, we would be sentenced to living and dying over and over. During each life both of us would find the other and we would become the team we had been, with one great exception; our future lives would be filled with hurt, heartache and betrayal. Salai would be cursed with the ego of a god while I was cursed to endure his idiosyncrasies until he would once again be the man, the partner, the other half that he had been. Only then would our sentence be served and we could pass from this world to paradise, never to return to the earth to roam as men. We would be free from the bonds of life and death.

     The dark Lady of Death further sentenced me with Salai not remembering our life together while he was in mortal form. He would rebel against any idea of our past or future together. Only vague shadows of moments long past would haunt his subconscious but he would dismiss them as dreams or fantasy. It would be up to me to nudge the past into his consciousness and the memories long forgotten to re-emerge and bring him home. Through it all his deep love for me would be hidden from him, surfacing then going back into hiding.  He would be easily misled by others that would want him for his beauty, physique and charm but not for who and what he was.

     There would be times we would be inseparable and others when we would be torn apart. Neither one truly living happily unless with the other but not realizing that is what it would take. Hardship would hound us through the ages as would strife and war. As long as we remained together there will be nothing that could stop us but apart our lives would feel incomplete and misery would invade where happiness should be. It was to be my task to bring this to fruition. Salai will be the clay for me to mold into what he once was.

     This was my time in Hel’s realm. Torture to say the least. To lose my soul mate was bad enough but to be told that I would live until the end of time, over and over, to find him and lose him was more torturous than living in the darkness never seeing him again. To know that it was him, yet not, over a thousand million lives was almost unbearable. To risk reaching out to the one that is my life and knowing that he knows, but doesn’t, that I am what he needs was heart wrenching to say the least. Hel said it would not be an easy labor but would be worth enduring in the end. Salai would, at last, become the man he had been and see with clear eyes. It would be then that we would rule again gloriously and then finally come to our eternal rest in Paradise.

     Salai fared far better than I. He was taken into Paradise to spend his time until he was reborn in another place and time. His had been a far better life than mine and for his suffering alongside this tyrant, he was given a gift beyond compare. The gods took mercy on him and took the memories of the suffering from him. All he remembered was the good, the glory, the honor. It was his just reward for what I had forced upon him. I felt no bitterness for I loved him as a brother and more. We had spent several lifetimes ruling as gods. He the god of justice and me the god of chaos. Until we returned in another time and place, he would repose in Eden, not knowing our future. All was as it should be until that time we were reborn into the world.

Love Will Make You Stupid

“Love will make you stupid. You won’t listen to anyone, not even your own common sense.” This is a quote from The Chronicles of Nick by the great Sherrilyn Kenyon. This woman, this writer, this genius, can articulate so well that most of her work of fiction can be used as everyday quotes.

I am using this one today because it has a relevance to what is going on in a couple of people’s lives that are very close to me. I will not divulge names, they know who they are, but I hope that they will read this and get a clue.

If a boy, or girl, is in a relationship, whether legally married or just ‘shackin’ up,’ they have made a commitment to their significant other to stay true to them. If said boy, or girl, decides that they no longer want to be with that person then they break up. If they are married, it takes a little more than just saying, “I’m leaving.” A divorce takes a little bit of time and a lot of money, especially if there are children involved. There are the two main types of relationships and each will be examined.

First is the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. That is where two people are basically just dating each other. They have made a promise to each other that they will stay true and not see other people. If one of them decides that the other isn’t what they want, they break up and find someone new. That is the easy one; unless they stay with their significant other and see one or more others on the side secretly. This is the way it seems to go these days. No one stays true to anyone. They say, “I love you and will forever,” but what they are actually saying is, “I’ll stay with you because I like what you do for me until I can find someone else that can do more.”

It seems that what kids, and some adults, want is to have someone to have sex with whenever they want while all the time playing the field. No commitment, no loyalty and no worries… until they get caught be their ‘main squeeze.’ It is then that they back-peddle and try to smooth things over and keep the one they know will be there all the time. Really? Are people that stupid? Yes they are.

Now we go to the married couple. One is not happy in the relationship for one reason or another, it really doesn’t matter what the reason is. Let’s say the man is cheating on his wife He will say that he’s working late, going out with the guys or some other lame excuse he knows his wife will accept. All the while, he is out with his girlfriend doing the dirty. The girlfriend is happy because she is getting what she wants – he tells her he loves her and that he will leave his wife and they will get married and live happily ever after.

Maybe it’s the wife that is cheating. She makes all kinds of excuses to go out on the town without her husband with the same results only with some boy. The thing here is that neither one is leaving their spouse while seeing someone else. Why, if they are so unhappy, do they not file for divorce, get the divorce and THEN start seeing someone? It doesn’t matter if a person is ‘legally separated’ from their spouse, they are still ‘legally married.’ They did not take the sacred vows of marriage seriously.

The major point to this rant is this: if a person is willing to cheat on their significant other, not take their promises or vows seriously and lie to that significant other then they have no sense of commitment or loyalty to anyone. If they are more than willing to go behind their significant other with someone they think, or that actually is, a good, decent person, what makes that good, decent person think for one minute that cheater won’t cheat on them? It is my opinion that they will. A person that is willing to cheat on their partner, no matter what the circumstances, they will cheat on the person they are cheating with.

Some will say, “Well, their wife/husband has beat on them, cheated on them, done this or that to them….etc.” That may well be. If it is that bad then get the divorce, break up, whatever… but get it done and over with before you go jumping in the sack with someone else.

I come from a time when commitment meant something. If you were taken, had a partner, you didn’t cheat for any reason. If there were problems you talked about them and fixed them; you didn’t throw away a relationship because you were tired of that person. If it was an abusive relationship then the family took care of it. Most, not all but most, abusive relationships are not that abusive and, a lot of the time, the one being abused has gotten the abuser so peeved as to not know what else to do. Through experience, I would have to say that if a man hits a woman (I do NOT condone this action) she has done him so wrong that he feels she deserves it. Usually she has cheated on him numerous times or complains about everything about him or tries to control him to the point of obsession or control freak abuse herself.

Some of my observations may not be the norm, some may be way off mark but, you have to understand that after half a century of studying people that I do have a little bit of experience with a lot of different social situations. Relationships are a dime a dozen anymore because they don’t last due to lack of morality and commitment. When it comes to other people I can usually tell you within minutes how they are with the person they are with, whether they are good or bad and whether they are sincere or fake. I just wish I could do it when it comes to my own life and relationships. In that respect I fail miserably.

Do We Really Control Our Own Destiny?

     There comes a time in everyone’s life when it is necessary to look back and consider all that has happened, both good and bad. It is then that we decide whether the good, or bad, out-weighs the other. If the good out-weighs the bad, then we have lived a good life and if the opposite, then our life has been less than exceptional. It is never too late to change how one’s life ends up as long as one is breathing. As Sherrilyn Kenyon said – “We are all writers of our lives. We can make our lives comedies or tragedies.” We have the control over our destinies. The Fates may weave, and unweave, our lives but we, alone, control our own destiny in a way that the Fates cannot change.

     It is true that there are certain things that occur in our lives that we cannot change, no matter how hard we try. The people we meet, the places we end up in and the end of our lives are all things that we cannot change, no matter what we do. The ins and outs of everyday life are what we control and that is where we make the difference. Our free will, our stupidity, is what makes our life good or bad. It isn’t the Fates that tell the criminal to rob or kill. It isn’t the Fates that tell the average person to decide to smoke that joint or snort that line. It is, however, the Fates that tell that person to love this man/woman, enter the military or to go to school to learn more. That is how they weave our lives. That is how, when in the end days, they unweave those lives.

     When our lives come to an end, and there is no changing that time, it is our decisions that determine how our life is ended. If we have lived a good life, did not break the law, did not do drugs or smoke or drink, then maybe it was the decision to go skiing on a dangerous mountain or to bungee jump or fly in a plane that is destined to crash. How we die is our choice, when we die is the decision of the Fates. It is the time from birth to that time of death that we control more than the Fates do. We make the day to day decisions that affect our lives, not the Fates.

     The ones that we fall in love with, what we end up doing for society and the people of the world, whether we are rich or poor, all these things are outside our influence. I know that there are those that will say everything that happens in our lives are our choices and, by and large, they are but there are those things that, no matter what we do, we have absolutely no control over. That is where our lives become a struggle; we fight what the Fates have set in stone for us. Even if we are doing what we think is best or what we want, if it is not in sync with our destiny, it becomes a chore. We may be having fun, we may think that we are happy, but it gets to where we sink deeper into an unconscious depression that will eat at us until we change course and get on the right path. This is where those that will say we choose our destinies are wrong because, even though we choose our day to day destinies, our life destinies are not ours to control.

     Whether you call it the Fates, the Norns or some other name, it is them that control our lives. We cannot fight what is already set in motion. You can beg the gods for whatever you desire from riches to lovers to whatever and if it is not in line with what the Fates have in store for you, it will not be yours. You may get that parking space you want on a daily basis, you may go to a place you don’t want to because that is what is on your mind, you may even win small amounts from the lottery if you believe hard enough but when it comes to the big stuff, making life changes, you may as well try telling your bedroom wall to move over a foot under its own power.

     I realize that I repeat a lot of what I say. This is not always intentional but there are those times that I do it for a reason. There are times that repetition is needed to get a point across well enough to be retained by the reader or listener. So if you don’t like the way I write, then read someone else’s blog. I don’t try to change people’s minds; I try to get people to look at things from a different angle, a different point of view. In other words, I try to get people to look at the world through open eyes and an open mind instead of a very narrow view and a closed mind. I hope I did my job.

Things I am Grateful For

     There are many things that a person should be thankful for in their lives. For every person there are different things, of course, but there are still those qualities, possessions, family members, friends or whatever else could possibly be in a life that should cause gratefulness to be shown. Each day a person should stop and reflect on those things and say a silent ‘Thank you’ to whatever deity they believe in. Do people do this? Some do, some don’t but all should. I am guilty of not showing my gratitude for all the things in my life as I should. I take a lot of it for granted as most do and don’t think anything about it. That is what this is all about; I want the gods to know that I am grateful for what I have. I can list a lot of things and still leave a lot out. I just think it is time that I start to say, “Thank the gods for what I have.”

     

     This is a small list, by far incomplete and definitely not in order from most to least.

        §  My sons and daughters- Jaquie, Michael, Jennifer and Andrew

        §  My closest friends- Julian, Sonya, Bob, Moses and Billy 

  §  My friends that aren’t around as much- Josh, Dianna, Springer, Alan, SherBear, Swainey and

           ·         Morgan, Debbie and her family and a host of others too numerous to list

        §  My extended family- brother and sisters, nieces and nephews, in-laws and out-laws

        §  My mother and my dad (my dad is gone but I am so thankful that I had him as long as I did)

        §  My health

        §  My home

        §  I have a job that pays the bills

        §  I have food to eat and the family does not go hungry

        §  I am a free man living in a still free country

        §  My education and intelligence gained throughout a lifetime of learning

        §  My children are healthy and happy

        §  My faith and beliefs

     I know that this is, by far, an incomplete list but these things are what I am most thankful for at this time. I thank the gods of Valhalla for all that I have and have had over the decades that I have been on this rock. I know that there are things that are coming my way, things that I need, or will need, and things that I want. All will manifest as it has been written and the Fates have woven into this life for me. For all this, and more, “Thank you.”

You're There for a Reason - Good or Bad

     There are people that will come into our lives at times that are there for one purpose or another. Actually, everyone comes into a person’s life for one reason or another. Whether it be for good, bad or indifferent, there is always a reason. Some are there for a very short time, others for longer and still others for a lifetime. There are, also, those that come into someone’s life to disappear then reappear later, sometimes weeks, months or even years. They, too, have a reason for being there, especially if it is a second or even third time.

     Most people, when they leave someone’s life, will give a reason. It could be that they were angry, disrespected, abused, following the crowd or otherwise influenced to leave. There is always a reason for them leaving. It could be that their job was done, whatever their job was at the time. Drifting apart is another reason. Over time people will follow their own paths that take them away. Through it all, though, the reason for them leaving is always pretty clear to both parties, most of the time.

     Then, there are those that leave for apparently no reason what-so-ever, or so it seems. They will say that nothing is wrong, they are vague about the whole thing or that they just want to do their own thing. All the while, the person left behind knows that there is more to the story than what is being said. Does it matter? Not in the least. You can’t control anyone but yourself and you definitely cannot control the actions, thoughts or emotions of another. If someone leaves your life without an obvious reason and they won’t let you know why, then it is on them. They don’t owe you anything.

     Let’s say that you have had a friend for years, even decades, that suddenly disappears from your life. What goes through your mind; what did I do, why are they gone, what can I do to get them back? All these questions and more usually go through the mind of the one left standing alone. You can try to find out but it won’t do any good, especially if the one that left doesn’t want to tell you. As for trying to get them back into your life, might as well try to talk the wall into moving over six inches under its own power. The more you try, the farther that person will move away from you.

     What makes it so bad is if that friend was someone really close to you, someone that you trusted with everything, and now won’t even try to talk to you about what is wrong with the relationship. When they will tell you things haven’t changed, nothing is wrong, they just want to do other things, you just can’t get the real reason out of them. They don’t want to tell you and they won’t. There is nothing you can do about it. It doesn’t matter how close you were, you aren’t anymore and the reason behind it is irrelevant. If they wanted you to know why they left you and the friendship behind, they would tell you. Is it fair? No, but no one said life was fair. Fair is something you pay a cabbie for a ride. Fair is somewhere you go to eat cotton candy and step in monkey poop. Fair has nothing to do with life.

     You are the master of your own destiny. As mi hijo always says, “Don’t let someone else control your life.” The only problem with that statement, that utterance of wisdom, is that when a person cares about someone, really cares, that person does control their emotions to a point. Only Spock can detach himself from all emotion and look at things totally logically. Oh, to be able to detach from emotion. Wouldn’t that be the way to go? If a person could be emotionally detached from everyone, what would they be like? Psychiatrists, therapists, human services workers, clergymen and even law enforcement would say that an emotionally detached person was mentally unstable. How could anyone not have emotions toward their fellow human beings?  The only problem with all those professionals is that they, themselves, are actually emotionally detached from humanity. They have to be to do their jobs, except for the clergy, they have to love everyone in a non-committal, platonic way unless you are an altar boy in the Catholic Church.

     When a couple get divorced after years, or decades, of marriage, who is the loser? There are always winners and losers. Unless it is a consensual parting, one party is usually devastated while the other goes out and parties their nights away having a great time. In this scenario, one is totally unhappy with the other for some reason only known to the hurt party. Let’s say Bob and Joyce have been together for thirty years. One day, Joyce comes into the kitchen while Bob is just leaving to his job and tells him that she is through, he will be hearing from her lawyer. Bob stutters and asks why she’s leaving and all she says is that she isn’t happy. Really? It took her thirty years to figure that out. Amazing. Bob is devastated because he didn’t know they were having problems and Joyce gets the house, the BMW, the kids, alimony and child support. Bob gets the shaft on top of his emotional distress. Joyce doesn’t understand why he’s upset in the least.

     Two friends, let’s say, Bill and Tom, have been friends for a long time, maybe since childhood. They do everything together and are best buds. They have shared their hopes and dreams, conquests and defeats and know as much about each other as two people can. One day, out of the blue, Tom just leaves. He doesn’t call or come by, when asked to hang out he’s got other things to do and refuses to give a reason. All he says is there is nothing wrong, he is doing other things and he is starting a new stage in his life. He’ll tell Bill he’ll stop by then doesn’t with the reason that he got distracted. He will tell Bill that he isn’t doing something anymore then goes out with others to do just that thing. Tom will hang out and do things with anyone but Bill. If Bill does see him, he has to go where Tom is working or otherwise tied down just to be able to talk to him in person. Is there a problem here? Of course there is. Will Tom let Bill know? Of course he won’t. Nothing is wrong, nothing has changed and everything is hunky-dorey, ok, fine, good. Bill knows differently but what can he do about it? Not a thing. Until Tom is ready to let the cat out of the bag and tell Bill what the problem is, Bill will be in the dark and hurting over the whole thing. And Tom will be sitting there wondering why Bill is devastated and not keeping on keeping on with his life like nothing has happened.

     This comes back to that emotional detachment. Joyce and Tom are emotionally detached from Bob and Bill. They couldn’t care less about what they are doing, or have done, to their significant other and friend. They can’t understand why the others don’t live their life as they always have despite the fact that an important part of their lives just disappeared without a reason or warning. Of course Joyce and Tom are happy, they knew what was coming, they know the reasons behind the actions and it doesn’t bother them one iota how the affected parties are hurt. They just don’t care; emotional detachment from humanity. Is that mental instability? Not really in these scenarios. It happens every day in every town in every state in every country. But, put someone out there that is emotionally detached from the beginning and that is something to worry about.

     So what does this have to do with a person coming into your life for a reason? Everything. Joyce came into Bob’s life, spent thirty years giving him support to succeed at his job, gave him children to carry on the bloodline and gave him someone to love. Tom was in Bill’s life to be a confidante, a partner-in-crime so to speak and someone that was there when no one else was when he needed someone the most. Why did they leave? Who knows? Was their job done that the gods and fates had for them? Only the gods and fates know that. Time heals all wounds as the old adage goes and after a time the pain turns to a dull ache and the longing turns into a distant memory. A lesson may have been learned or maybe the hurt party just turned into themselves and left humanity behind and became that emotionally detached psycho that the professionals worry about. It all depends on how emotionally attached they were to the ones that left. Some people never recover from a loss, others recover quite quickly. The bond between the two is the deciding factor. Or, maybe I should say the bond one felt for the other whether it was returned or not.

     Some would say that Bob and Bill would play the ‘pity-me’ card if they talked about their loss a lot. It isn’t that they would want pity. That would be downgrading to them. Not that there aren’t those that want people to pity them but most times it isn’t pity but understanding that the hurt party wants. They want to understand what happened and why. They want to know what happened between them and they are hoping that someone can give them some kind of answers. They are still completely attached to the one that left until those answers come; until they can understand the loss. Until that time, the emptiness in their souls cry out in agony, demanding attention and logic does not come into the equation like is has for the ones that left. To them it was only logical to do what they did and their emotional detachment won’t let them think any more about it and the hurt party is in the wrong for ‘clinging’ or not accepting what happened.

     The two most opposite things in the world are logic and emotion. Unlike love and hate, which are almost the same thing, logic and emotion are on the extreme opposite ends of the spectrum. It takes both to be a well-rounded human being but it is almost impossible for the two to work in tandem for most people. Any scenario is either a logical one or an emotional one with one of two outcomes. It will either work out or someone will be destroyed because of what is happening. If you find yourself in a situation such as this, don’t be the emotionally detached automaton, let the other one know why, give reasons not excuses. It could save a life.