Love Will Make You Stupid

“Love will make you stupid. You won’t listen to anyone, not even your own common sense.” This is a quote from The Chronicles of Nick by the great Sherrilyn Kenyon. This woman, this writer, this genius, can articulate so well that most of her work of fiction can be used as everyday quotes.

I am using this one today because it has a relevance to what is going on in a couple of people’s lives that are very close to me. I will not divulge names, they know who they are, but I hope that they will read this and get a clue.

If a boy, or girl, is in a relationship, whether legally married or just ‘shackin’ up,’ they have made a commitment to their significant other to stay true to them. If said boy, or girl, decides that they no longer want to be with that person then they break up. If they are married, it takes a little more than just saying, “I’m leaving.” A divorce takes a little bit of time and a lot of money, especially if there are children involved. There are the two main types of relationships and each will be examined.

First is the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. That is where two people are basically just dating each other. They have made a promise to each other that they will stay true and not see other people. If one of them decides that the other isn’t what they want, they break up and find someone new. That is the easy one; unless they stay with their significant other and see one or more others on the side secretly. This is the way it seems to go these days. No one stays true to anyone. They say, “I love you and will forever,” but what they are actually saying is, “I’ll stay with you because I like what you do for me until I can find someone else that can do more.”

It seems that what kids, and some adults, want is to have someone to have sex with whenever they want while all the time playing the field. No commitment, no loyalty and no worries… until they get caught be their ‘main squeeze.’ It is then that they back-peddle and try to smooth things over and keep the one they know will be there all the time. Really? Are people that stupid? Yes they are.

Now we go to the married couple. One is not happy in the relationship for one reason or another, it really doesn’t matter what the reason is. Let’s say the man is cheating on his wife He will say that he’s working late, going out with the guys or some other lame excuse he knows his wife will accept. All the while, he is out with his girlfriend doing the dirty. The girlfriend is happy because she is getting what she wants – he tells her he loves her and that he will leave his wife and they will get married and live happily ever after.

Maybe it’s the wife that is cheating. She makes all kinds of excuses to go out on the town without her husband with the same results only with some boy. The thing here is that neither one is leaving their spouse while seeing someone else. Why, if they are so unhappy, do they not file for divorce, get the divorce and THEN start seeing someone? It doesn’t matter if a person is ‘legally separated’ from their spouse, they are still ‘legally married.’ They did not take the sacred vows of marriage seriously.

The major point to this rant is this: if a person is willing to cheat on their significant other, not take their promises or vows seriously and lie to that significant other then they have no sense of commitment or loyalty to anyone. If they are more than willing to go behind their significant other with someone they think, or that actually is, a good, decent person, what makes that good, decent person think for one minute that cheater won’t cheat on them? It is my opinion that they will. A person that is willing to cheat on their partner, no matter what the circumstances, they will cheat on the person they are cheating with.

Some will say, “Well, their wife/husband has beat on them, cheated on them, done this or that to them….etc.” That may well be. If it is that bad then get the divorce, break up, whatever… but get it done and over with before you go jumping in the sack with someone else.

I come from a time when commitment meant something. If you were taken, had a partner, you didn’t cheat for any reason. If there were problems you talked about them and fixed them; you didn’t throw away a relationship because you were tired of that person. If it was an abusive relationship then the family took care of it. Most, not all but most, abusive relationships are not that abusive and, a lot of the time, the one being abused has gotten the abuser so peeved as to not know what else to do. Through experience, I would have to say that if a man hits a woman (I do NOT condone this action) she has done him so wrong that he feels she deserves it. Usually she has cheated on him numerous times or complains about everything about him or tries to control him to the point of obsession or control freak abuse herself.

Some of my observations may not be the norm, some may be way off mark but, you have to understand that after half a century of studying people that I do have a little bit of experience with a lot of different social situations. Relationships are a dime a dozen anymore because they don’t last due to lack of morality and commitment. When it comes to other people I can usually tell you within minutes how they are with the person they are with, whether they are good or bad and whether they are sincere or fake. I just wish I could do it when it comes to my own life and relationships. In that respect I fail miserably.