Love is Not Sex

Over the course of my lifetime I have discovered something that is so disturbing that it makes me distrust the human race more than any other thing. This one thing, as insignificant as it may seem, is probably the one most important cause of rebelliousness, disrespect, disloyalty and disobedience in our society. Rumors are started and spread like wildfire over this. Lives are ruined because of it. The sad part is that it would be easy to change the attitude about it if people would stop being sheeple and start being human again; if the sheeple of the world would open their eyes and minds and start standing up for themselves instead of being blind followers to an evil empire.

What is this one thing that I speak of? Love. Easy, right? Hold the phone! What does love have to do with all the ills of the world? It isn’t love per se, but the lack thereof. People, by and large, have become so self-absorbed that the only person they love, if they love anyone at all, are themselves. Most parents, even, don’t care about their children other than to make sure they don’t get them into trouble. Notice I said ‘most,’ not all, but most. There are those parents that love their children more than life itself. Those are not the parents that I am talking about.

People have gotten to believe that no one can care about anyone outside of family unless sex is involved. If a person cares about another person they have to have ulterior motives, read ‘sexual;’ this is not always the scenario. There are those people that have enough familial love to care about others as their own children, parents or brother/sister. It is the simple-minded, narrow-minded or secretly perverted people that think otherwise; that think a man/woman cannot love another’s child as their own or a child can’t look at an adult as a surrogate parent. It are those type people that spread rumors of perversion and illegal/immoral behavior between an adult and child.

Over the past several years I have had dozens of kids in my house that are friends of my kids. Ninety nine percent of these kids have come to me and said, “I wish I had a dad like you.” I would always tell them that they really didn’t. The only reason they said that was because I was not responsible for them and if they would talk to my kids they would tell them I could be a real dick at times. Out of all those kids, the ones that asked my advice, that listened to my ‘old man’ stories, that were not judged for their mistakes and were accepted for who they were, only a handful actually followed my advice. Those that did not, well, they have gone on doing the drugs and drinking, stealing and generally being bad examples of humanity. It is the ones that did listen that have gone on to be productive members of society.

To go on further, only two of all those kids are still in my life on a regular basis. I call these two boys my sons. I love them just as much as I love my own two kids and treat them as if they were my own children. I watched these two grow from two ‘loser’ weed smoking teens into two of the most responsible young adults in town. Anyone would be proud to call them their sons and I know their mother is very proud of them. I am proud of them for what they have become. They still have their issues, as everyone does, but they are more responsible, loyal and trustworthy than nearly anyone else in this town. The best part is that they both tell me that I had a large part in what they became and they love me like a father.

Why bring this up, you ask? Because rumors abound; it isn’t right that I should love these boys like I do. They shouldn’t love me the way they do. There just has to be some immoral activity going on. That could not be further from truth. These two boys are sons to me, period. One, in particular, spends a lot of time with me, which I enjoy immensely. We talk about everything. I give him advice, he tells me of his exploits, we discuss books, movies and music and we enjoy each other’s company. My home is his home. My children treat him as a brother. Yet, rumors abound that there is more to this relationship than a father/son scenario all because it isn’t right that this type relationship exists.

Both of these boys have been in my life a long time and neither have ever asked anything from me, taken anything from me or expected anything from me other than friendship. They have earned their place in my life and the life of my own children. The have earned the love they receive from me and my kids and they return that love in kind. To think anything different is insane and those that do think there is something perverted about it are the perverted ones. It takes a very small mind to think the way a lot of people do.

I told this story as an example of the problems with humanity; most of the world thinks in the small way that most of the people in my town do. Humanity is self-destructive and have no sense of self-worth. If the sheeple of the world actually had faith in themselves and weren’t so self-absorbed this world would be a much better place and a lot of innocent people’s lives would not be ruined by rumors and untruths. This is also one of the biggest reasons that I have become a recluse, isolating myself from humanity. I refuse to think in a way that is detrimental to the basic instincts of mankind. I believe in the ultimate good in everyone and every day I am shown that people would rather embrace the evil, dark side of their being instead of the loving, open and kind side. Until humanity gets back to its’ roots and realizes that there is more to life than bigotry, racism, perversion, hate and the multitude of phobias against each other the world is doomed to destruction.

Unrequited Love. Really?

This is going to be the kind of blog that is so prevalent for me-serious yet, at the same time, slightly humorous. The subject is unrequited love, or a supposed unrequited love. What do I mean by that? I will attempt to explain that the best I can within the confines of the English language without writing a novel.

Unrequited love is something that happens during middle through high school. The premise is a lonely boy, or girl, that is so in love with someone who does not return that love. That can be one of the worst feelings in the world. I believe that everyone goes through this at least once in their life. Some people think that it isn’t love at all but a crush. To the typical middle/high school aged kid there doesn’t seem to be a difference between a crush and love. To that age group love is the physical longing for another and not much else and that is what I would call lust. Ok, how is that a crush? Lust is a crush for that person because you want that person so badly you would do whatever for them.

What about when that 14 to 18 year old kid grows up and finds someone that just isn’t interested in them the same way he/she is interested in them? Is it still unrequited love? According to the Urban Dictionary it is. Any love that is unreturned is unrequited. Most adults handle it much better than children; it is a much more tragic form when the person is older. After all, once you reach maturity a person is supposed to already know the difference between a crush, lust and love and should be able to discern when another is just not interested.

There are those that just can’t quite get it, though. Like the guy that follows a girl around like a puppy just to be able to be around them, hoping that she will, just maybe, give him a little loving. Those are the ones that get used and abused because of their feelings. That girl will take advantage of the situation and keep that guy on the string as long as she can knowing full well that he will end up with a broken heart and empty bank account. Sad but true.

How about the girl that is so in love, or so she thinks, that she becomes ‘the stalker?’ Calls at three in the morning, showing up at odd times, complaining about the guy’s other friends that are female and generally acting the fool toward him are actions prevalent in this situation. Is it a crush, lust or unrequited love? I think it is probably a mix of all three, especially since it is usually married people, not to each other.

My Hijo, one of two boys that I look at as sons, once told me, “Kindness is often mistaken for flirtation.” He has this problem all the time. He is a kind man and treats everyone he meets with kindness and respect. Most girls, though, take that as him flirting with them, even after they get to know him. Are these girls affected by unrequited love or just lust and a crush? He is a good-looking kid with an ego that is out of this world. I keep saying that if he were to walk into a room with a hundred girls and ten guys, those other guys wouldn’t stand a snow ball’s chance in hell of getting lucky. Sad thing about it-I’ve seen it happen. His girlfriend is an extremely lucky girl to have him. I make it sound like he’s a man-whore which could not be further from the truth; he is not one to cheat on his significant other, either.

I believe that most people suffer from unrequited love quite often. There are few, anymore, that can honestly say that the one they are with is the only love of their life and no one else catches their eye. We, as a race, have made ourselves this way. I blame my generation for this. My parent’s generation was the last to have loyalty and respect for their partner. My generation brought about free love, multiple partners without regard to emotion, expanded drug use and doing whatever just because it felt good. My generation did away with loyalty, respect and that deep abiding love that my parents enjoyed and lived. This also brought about that feeling of wanting someone who won’t return the same to you. I’m not saying that there wasn’t unrequited love before the ‘60s, but it couldn’t have been as wide spread as it is now.

The question, if there is one, could only be this: is it really unrequited love or just unreturned lust?

Not My Usual Boring Blog

I have usually taken this blog and used it as a sounding board for my political views, posting some of my stories and general ideas on a miserable life lived in a black-hole small town in Southern Iowa. It’s been a while since I posted anything simply because I posted my entire in-the-works manuscript of Wizard’s Quest Book Two. That should have kept every one (I stress the ONE) of my followers busy for a little while; funny how the views stopped after a couple of weeks.

The local grocery distributor has kept me pretty busy lately driving my life away delivering those groceries to the hungry of Iowa, Missouri, Nebraska and Kansas and backhauling from as far away as Rochelle, Illinois. I don’t mind that at all, it pays the bills and helps me keep my sanity. Well, what sanity I have left. Plus, when I work I get out of Chariton and see the world. There is a whole big world out there beyond the confines of the Chariton City Limits and even beyond Lucas County! Who knew?

I found out that if a person drives beyond the Lucas County line that the world does not end, you don’t fall off into an abyss of eternal fire nor do the cosmos hit you in the face with some death ray or suck you into space to suffocate or implode due to lack of atmosphere. You can actually keep going and see new things, like real people that speak the same language and do the same things that are done in Lucas County. Amazing, it is. Simply amazing. A whole big world out there waiting to be explored and mapped and exploited and destroyed…. Ooops, got carried away there with my quest for world domination.

Back to home base. I was on Facebook (like I NEVER get on Facebook… ) and saw mi Hijo was at work ( EVERYONE works at the local grocery distributor, Hijo is a security guard making sure no terrorists blow the place up and put trillions of lives at stake) so I messaged him to see how he was doing. I think, just maybe, that his mind has snapped from being caught in the grip of the event horizon we live in. For years he has said that he was a god, total awesomeness and no one could get close to his supremacy over mankind (I may be exaggerating a little bit here, but not much). What he told me was shocking to say the least. He has abdicated his throne and is no longer a god to mankind. He just doesn’t want the responsibility of saving the lives of mere mortals anymore. I give him two days before the ego kicks back in and he is back into his delusion of being a god. Maybe it’s just the fact that he was bored out of his skull from nothing to do but watch those terrorists go by the guard shack with their backpacks full of C-4 to blow the warehouse into oblivion. THAT would have made his day (like most young people these days, he likes big booms!).

Then, of course, there is the latest addition to the family IHOP. IHOP, incidentally, does NOT stand for International House of Pancakes around here. It is an acronym for International House of People. As most of you know, I am not a racist, I hate everyone equally. In the Family IHOP we have: Americans, Mexicans, Koreans, Irishmen, Native Americans and Russian/Ukrainians (I don’t think he has decided which he is as of yet). We are not racist because some of our best friends are white (as mi Hijo likes to say).

Back to the latest addition. The little Russian/Ukrainian pr**k bast**d came over and decided to help me make some mead. This is something that I have talked about, got the ingredients for and finally decided to do. Not that difficult unless you have a Russian/Ukrainian trying to tell you that it’s being done totally wrong. I watched it on YouTube. I know what I’m doing. He, on the other hand, thinks HIS way is better, like he has ever made the nectar of the gods before. We’ll see how it turns out about the time that our soldier-at-arms gets back from El Paso in about 8 months. In the mean-time, I think I will let him try HIS way to see if it turns out any better. What’s the worst that could happen? We will have to throw out a gallon of water, a couple of pounds of honey and two packages of that instant yeast you cook with. Oh, yeah, and a handful of Mango and blackberries I got to flavor the stuff. Total of about ten dollars. If it turns out good… well, there is ten dollars spent on a half-gallon each of Mango and Blackberry Mead!

I guess I should stop about now. My good friend and fellow blogger that I have not yet met in person (I have spent a lot of time with his boys though, glad they are my friends as either one could crush me like a ripe grape), Buzz Malone, has told me that my blogs are WAY too long. This should make him happy that he doesn’t have to take up a whole afternoon to read it instead of writing his own blog, which is really quite interesting and entertaining if I say so, myself.

I’ll let you know about the mead in eight months. Buzz, you might want to ask Jesse where I live so you can come try it!