Not My Usual Boring Blog

I have usually taken this blog and used it as a sounding board for my political views, posting some of my stories and general ideas on a miserable life lived in a black-hole small town in Southern Iowa. It’s been a while since I posted anything simply because I posted my entire in-the-works manuscript of Wizard’s Quest Book Two. That should have kept every one (I stress the ONE) of my followers busy for a little while; funny how the views stopped after a couple of weeks.

The local grocery distributor has kept me pretty busy lately driving my life away delivering those groceries to the hungry of Iowa, Missouri, Nebraska and Kansas and backhauling from as far away as Rochelle, Illinois. I don’t mind that at all, it pays the bills and helps me keep my sanity. Well, what sanity I have left. Plus, when I work I get out of Chariton and see the world. There is a whole big world out there beyond the confines of the Chariton City Limits and even beyond Lucas County! Who knew?

I found out that if a person drives beyond the Lucas County line that the world does not end, you don’t fall off into an abyss of eternal fire nor do the cosmos hit you in the face with some death ray or suck you into space to suffocate or implode due to lack of atmosphere. You can actually keep going and see new things, like real people that speak the same language and do the same things that are done in Lucas County. Amazing, it is. Simply amazing. A whole big world out there waiting to be explored and mapped and exploited and destroyed…. Ooops, got carried away there with my quest for world domination.

Back to home base. I was on Facebook (like I NEVER get on Facebook… ) and saw mi Hijo was at work ( EVERYONE works at the local grocery distributor, Hijo is a security guard making sure no terrorists blow the place up and put trillions of lives at stake) so I messaged him to see how he was doing. I think, just maybe, that his mind has snapped from being caught in the grip of the event horizon we live in. For years he has said that he was a god, total awesomeness and no one could get close to his supremacy over mankind (I may be exaggerating a little bit here, but not much). What he told me was shocking to say the least. He has abdicated his throne and is no longer a god to mankind. He just doesn’t want the responsibility of saving the lives of mere mortals anymore. I give him two days before the ego kicks back in and he is back into his delusion of being a god. Maybe it’s just the fact that he was bored out of his skull from nothing to do but watch those terrorists go by the guard shack with their backpacks full of C-4 to blow the warehouse into oblivion. THAT would have made his day (like most young people these days, he likes big booms!).

Then, of course, there is the latest addition to the family IHOP. IHOP, incidentally, does NOT stand for International House of Pancakes around here. It is an acronym for International House of People. As most of you know, I am not a racist, I hate everyone equally. In the Family IHOP we have: Americans, Mexicans, Koreans, Irishmen, Native Americans and Russian/Ukrainians (I don’t think he has decided which he is as of yet). We are not racist because some of our best friends are white (as mi Hijo likes to say).

Back to the latest addition. The little Russian/Ukrainian pr**k bast**d came over and decided to help me make some mead. This is something that I have talked about, got the ingredients for and finally decided to do. Not that difficult unless you have a Russian/Ukrainian trying to tell you that it’s being done totally wrong. I watched it on YouTube. I know what I’m doing. He, on the other hand, thinks HIS way is better, like he has ever made the nectar of the gods before. We’ll see how it turns out about the time that our soldier-at-arms gets back from El Paso in about 8 months. In the mean-time, I think I will let him try HIS way to see if it turns out any better. What’s the worst that could happen? We will have to throw out a gallon of water, a couple of pounds of honey and two packages of that instant yeast you cook with. Oh, yeah, and a handful of Mango and blackberries I got to flavor the stuff. Total of about ten dollars. If it turns out good… well, there is ten dollars spent on a half-gallon each of Mango and Blackberry Mead!

I guess I should stop about now. My good friend and fellow blogger that I have not yet met in person (I have spent a lot of time with his boys though, glad they are my friends as either one could crush me like a ripe grape), Buzz Malone, has told me that my blogs are WAY too long. This should make him happy that he doesn’t have to take up a whole afternoon to read it instead of writing his own blog, which is really quite interesting and entertaining if I say so, myself.

I’ll let you know about the mead in eight months. Buzz, you might want to ask Jesse where I live so you can come try it!