Unrequited Love. Really?

This is going to be the kind of blog that is so prevalent for me-serious yet, at the same time, slightly humorous. The subject is unrequited love, or a supposed unrequited love. What do I mean by that? I will attempt to explain that the best I can within the confines of the English language without writing a novel.

Unrequited love is something that happens during middle through high school. The premise is a lonely boy, or girl, that is so in love with someone who does not return that love. That can be one of the worst feelings in the world. I believe that everyone goes through this at least once in their life. Some people think that it isn’t love at all but a crush. To the typical middle/high school aged kid there doesn’t seem to be a difference between a crush and love. To that age group love is the physical longing for another and not much else and that is what I would call lust. Ok, how is that a crush? Lust is a crush for that person because you want that person so badly you would do whatever for them.

What about when that 14 to 18 year old kid grows up and finds someone that just isn’t interested in them the same way he/she is interested in them? Is it still unrequited love? According to the Urban Dictionary it is. Any love that is unreturned is unrequited. Most adults handle it much better than children; it is a much more tragic form when the person is older. After all, once you reach maturity a person is supposed to already know the difference between a crush, lust and love and should be able to discern when another is just not interested.

There are those that just can’t quite get it, though. Like the guy that follows a girl around like a puppy just to be able to be around them, hoping that she will, just maybe, give him a little loving. Those are the ones that get used and abused because of their feelings. That girl will take advantage of the situation and keep that guy on the string as long as she can knowing full well that he will end up with a broken heart and empty bank account. Sad but true.

How about the girl that is so in love, or so she thinks, that she becomes ‘the stalker?’ Calls at three in the morning, showing up at odd times, complaining about the guy’s other friends that are female and generally acting the fool toward him are actions prevalent in this situation. Is it a crush, lust or unrequited love? I think it is probably a mix of all three, especially since it is usually married people, not to each other.

My Hijo, one of two boys that I look at as sons, once told me, “Kindness is often mistaken for flirtation.” He has this problem all the time. He is a kind man and treats everyone he meets with kindness and respect. Most girls, though, take that as him flirting with them, even after they get to know him. Are these girls affected by unrequited love or just lust and a crush? He is a good-looking kid with an ego that is out of this world. I keep saying that if he were to walk into a room with a hundred girls and ten guys, those other guys wouldn’t stand a snow ball’s chance in hell of getting lucky. Sad thing about it-I’ve seen it happen. His girlfriend is an extremely lucky girl to have him. I make it sound like he’s a man-whore which could not be further from the truth; he is not one to cheat on his significant other, either.

I believe that most people suffer from unrequited love quite often. There are few, anymore, that can honestly say that the one they are with is the only love of their life and no one else catches their eye. We, as a race, have made ourselves this way. I blame my generation for this. My parent’s generation was the last to have loyalty and respect for their partner. My generation brought about free love, multiple partners without regard to emotion, expanded drug use and doing whatever just because it felt good. My generation did away with loyalty, respect and that deep abiding love that my parents enjoyed and lived. This also brought about that feeling of wanting someone who won’t return the same to you. I’m not saying that there wasn’t unrequited love before the ‘60s, but it couldn’t have been as wide spread as it is now.

The question, if there is one, could only be this: is it really unrequited love or just unreturned lust?