Tell Them You're Sorry

            When you have done someone wrong, whether with, or without, intention, always let them know that you feel badly about it, that is unless you plan to continue doing whatever it was. If you intentionally wronged someone and plan on continuing to do so, then ‘sorry’ really doesn’t mean anything. It may make that person feel a little better at the time but, when you do it again they will start to think, ‘Screw this.’

            I know that there are those people that just can’t help themselves. It’s like an impulse thing and we all know what it’s like to fight impulses. After all, isn’t that why stores put those little things up by the cash register so that you will think, “Oh, I want that!” Impulse buying. With everything else in life, impulses to do things are sometimes unstoppable. We do before we think about what it is we’re doing.

            There are different things that a person does on impulse from lie about something to stealing to killing someone. I know, an extreme case scenario there but murder can be a crime of passion which is an impulse thing. What I am trying to convey is that there are times when a person does something without thinking about the consequences or even what they are doing, much less whether it is right or wrong. Have you ever watched what happens when there is a ‘wet paint’ sign? Ninety five percent of people will touch whatever it is to see if it’s actually wet paint. Impulse.

            I had a friend one time tell me that there is nothing either right or wrong but the thinking makes it so. Think about that. I mean really think about it. What is right or wrong in one area of the world may be just the opposite in another. Out on the Left Coast it’s perfectly okay to walk along a lot of the beaches without anything on. Try that on a summer beach in Iowa, anywhere. It’s perfectly all right for high dollar celebrities to do things like drive drunk or do drugs. More times than not, those high dollar people go to rehab whereas the rest of us will go to jail. Society dictates what is right and what is wrong. There is no getting around that. If it isn’t right in the eyes of whatever society you reside in, then it isn’t right.

            You may think that I am getting totally off subject but I am not. I am building the scenario. After all, if you don’t think something is wrong and do it, why should you apologize? If nothing is either right or wrong but the thinking makes it so, then what is right and what is wrong and did you actually do something wrong to say, ‘I’m sorry,’ for? This is where it gets a little tricky. It isn’t what YOU think is right or wrong but what the OTHER person thinks is right or wrong. Is it wrong to sit in your house with a nineteen year old soldier and drink beer? My opinion is absolutely not! If that person is old enough to serve and die for his/her country he/she is old enough to drink beer. In the eyes of the law, though, it is illegal. So, I have to look at what is right or wrong from someone else’s perspective.

            Now we get down to the original subject, if you have done something wrong to someone, let them know that you are sorry about it. What if you don’t know, or don’t think, it’s wrong to that other person? Their attitude will let you know. That or they will come right out and tell you they are pished at you for what you did. That’s when you say, “I’m sorry for what I did. I didn’t realize it was wrong or, I wasn’t thinking at the time and it just happened.” I’ve heard that a lot. “It just happened. I don’t know how. We were just sitting there and his clothes came off, my clothes came off and we just ended up doing the dirty.” Yeah, right! Then again, it may have just happened as an impulse without thinking.

            If someone’s attitude changes toward you, like they don’t answer phone calls or come by anymore, chances are you’ve done something to upset their apple cart. You might not even know what you did but you did something. It could have been something you said at the wrong time, or, you did something to one of their other friends not knowing it would upset them, or, it could just be they are in a mood and don’t want to be bothered by your sorry butt at the time. Any way you look at it, you did something that needs to be apologized for. May as well get it over with and send them a text or call them up and say, “I’m sorry.”

            I have done this on several occasions and had the other person say something like, “What are you sorry for?” This is not a trick question, or it could be depending on who is asking it. A lot of people aren’t really mad at you. They may be busy, or otherwise preoccupied when you think you need their attention. Then, there are those times that they want to see if you know what you did. Either way, don’t lie. If you know what you are apologizing for, tell them; if you don’t then let them know that, also.

            Now that I have explained that, once again, I have to say, “I’m sorry.” I don’t know what I am sorry for, but, whatever it is I have done to whomever: I am sorry. I didn’t realize that what I did was offensive to you, that it was against your moral code, that it would hurt you or whatever else could have upset you toward me. For all I know what you are upset at me for has not even happened. It could be that someone else has forged some story to make you mad at me for reasons only that person can fathom. Any way you look at it, I want you back in my life like it used to be and I will do whatever it takes to make it right.

           We cool now?