Don't Take Anything For Granted

 Dont' take a damn thing for granted. Not one bloody thing! It can all change in a heartbeat. Trust me, I know.

Even though everyone in the family knew that my dad would pass away from the tumor in his head, it was still a shock when it actually happened. I was not prepared for it in any way, shape, or form. There have been times over the last thirty six years that I have missed him so much; he was the best dad a person could have asked for.

The same with my mother. We all knew it would happen sooner or later. It was a complete shock to me when I went to see her and she was so frail, weak, and her mind wasn't working correctly. I had just been to see her the weekend before and she was fine, for a ninety six year old woman. The last time I saw her alive was heart wrenching. She wouldn't talk, she was given meds every hour to keep the pain away, she had wasted away to a mere ghost of her former self. I was in Saint Charles, Illinois when my brother called to let me know that she had passed away. It was the longest eight hour drive I had ever made.

My little sister, three years younger than me, passed away, unexpectedly, at the ripe old age of forty five. That, my friends, was a kick in the gonads. She wasn't just my little sister, she was my best friend.

I could keep going on about lost lives of family and friends over the years but what would that do? Not a thing. Everyone loses people in their lives everyday. Death is part of life. I put these here only because of the differences in the way they left this world and how things can change without notice.

For the last thirty five years I've driven a semi truck. Not the entire time, I did take some time away from the road to spend time with my kids and take a break. For the most part, this is all I know. This is what I'm good at. I am not educated in any other field. Now, at the age of sixty two I will have to find some other way to support myself.

For almost seven years I've driven for Hirschbach Motor Lines as a lease operator. For most of those years I've achieved the status of Best of the Best. Remember, things can change instantly. Things changed the first of May.

I was cruising along Highway 24 east of Peoria, Illinois; had the cruise control set at around 58 and the radio was on SiriusXM Radio Classics (this station plays the old radio shows like Fibber McGee & Molly, Yours Truly Johnny Dollar, Nero Wolfe, etc.). I wasn't paying attention, I guess, because I looked up at the light I was right at and, guess what, it was RED. I entered the intersection and collided with a van, laid my truck over, and lost a load.

Thankfully, no one was seriously injured. Especially since I was grossing out about 78,000 pounds. The driver of the van could just as easily been killed as walked away from it.

After almost sever years with the best company I've worked for, I lost my job. That's right. In an instant of idiocy (mine), my safe, secure, well paying employment ended. Things can change in a heartbeat. Don't ever take anything for granted.

Needless to say, I did pass the drug/alcohol test, even though I didn't study for it. What I didn't pass was the DOT physical that was due. I got home and took the DOT in Osceola and found out that I am now a diabetic. Over the last week my blood sugar has been all over the place from 135 to 379. Until I get that under control, I can't drive no matter what. Things change in an instant.

Not all has been bad. There is always a silver lining so to speak.

My daughter sent me a message telling me that I needed to do a 23&me DNA test. I refuse to give my DNA to the government willingly so I asked her why. The answer came as quite a shock to say the least.

I have two beautiful children from my last relationship. A daughter, born in '95. and a son, born in '98. When they were little, their mother and I were struggling, badly. Little income, no prospects and, another one on the way. It was too much. Their mother convinced me that the best course of action was to adopt this baby to a good home. She had even gotten hold of an attorney before she talked to me about it.

Let it be said and understood: I love kids. I've taken in more and claimed more than my fair share. I really didn't want to do this. It took a lot of convincing to make me do it. After all, where there's a will, there's a way. KP talked about where we were financially and that the adoptive parents would actually help us out with money. That almost turned the deal off. What was she talking about? Selling our baby to the highest bidder? No, it was all legal and an attorney was doing the legal work.

Since that time, KP and I have parted ways. She walked out of our lives when my daughter and son were seven and five. We didn't hear from her for over a year. I have the utmost respect for anyone, male or female, that raises kids on their own. It was more than a struggle for me. It was hard to find a job that I could do and still be home for them. My son had emotional and mental problems that took years of therapy and tons of meds to take care of. It wasn't until my children were in their late teens that I finally got to a point where I didn't have to worry too much.

So, was adopting this last child out to financially sound parents right? After what my other two went through, I say yes. He was much better off growing up. At least I hoped he was.

Back to my daughter's message. She had found her brother and said that I should get hold of him, which I did. It was awkward but exciting. Here was a son that I thought I would never see again. We talked and talked. He's not ready to come into the fold just yet. It's a lot to process. He knows that he is welcome and wanted. When he's ready, he'll come.

Once again, things can change in a heartbeat. Don't take ANYTHING for granted or as cast in stone.